ASSOCIATED PRESS — Feb 12 — After exchanging instant messages and digital photos through an online dating site, he flew to Houston to meet what he hoped would be a beautiful soul mate. What he found was a flabby misanthrope with an apparent drinking problem. "I decided right then that I needed more information before I'd go on another date with someone I met online." New policy: He'll only date women who post videos or use Web cameras in virtual chat rooms. Videos are gaining popularity among the estimated 20 million Americans who visit online dating sites each month. Nearly one in four U.S. singles have used online dating services, according to Date.com. Only 10% of 2.8 million active users at True.com post videos, but the percentage is rising quickly and online profiles with video get more hits than those without. "Online daters go on a lot of first dates but not many seconds," Compagno said. "More information almost always is better." PerfectMatch.com (1.5 million-members) doesn't allow videos. Nor does eHarmony.com. It didn't accept photos until 2001 and will probably never accept videos, said senior VP Marylyn Warren. "Chemistry fogs your brain a little bit," Warren said. "If you see someone who is drop-dead handsome or beautiful, you might forget that she cheated her way through school or he tells lies or does the kind of things that break up a marriage. We need to get at the true character of a person without emphasis on photos and videos."
The full article was originally published at Yahoo, but is no longer available.
Mark Brooks: Great chemistry is hugely multifaceted, at the core of great relationships, and nigh impossible to predict. Personality profiling distinguishes someone as a great potential friend. The rest is up to chemistry. Your comments please…
I was pleased to have been invited to comment on this news item. Common sense and research tell us that physical attraction is a crucial ingredient in a relationship. Personality profiling helps match people based on the variables that feed “Companionate Love” (feeling of attachment and deep friendship). Moreover, companionship can certaintly promote “Erotic or Passionate Love” (the drives that underlie sex and physical intimacy), but the truth is that science can’t quantify “chemistry.” The services that do not offer photos or video chat even admit this. Thus, having photos and videos is a necessary tool for online daters. It is one piece of information that daters need to have, but it shouldn’t be the sole piece of info that determines compatibility or whether you want to have a second date. A relationship without physical attraction is unfulfilling, but so is a relationship without a mental and emotional connection with the other person. You need both! I’ve taken up much space to explain this bottom line: Compatibility testing at its best simply tells you who is and is likely not a good person for you to fall in love with.
Thanks to all!
Photo / Video matching:
Weakness of this method
-persons trends to overestimate, overvaluation of its qualities, they do not say the exact truth; e.g. all are beautiful, intelligent women, it is the equivalent to tell lies.
-small photos / small videos are always of low quality, taken using cheap cameras, photos are usually of the face, not of the body, they don’t include the body appearance.
-could be a man using a photograph of a woman.
-a woman 10 years ago / very old photo.
-an altered/manipulated/retouched photo. There are good tricks to retouch a photo.
-a woman with blue eyes appears to have grey/brown eyes if the photo is small.
-women are used to change their appearance several times during their life.
-physical appearance can change along the years.
-the people who give value to physical appearance cannot see the teeth of the others in the photo. A study in the Financial Times that appeared some months ago said that a person who has a good teeth can influence others, and a good teeth is one of the most valuable topics of physical appearance.
-a woman with brown eyes but if she uses blue contact lenses she will say that she has blue eyes, not blue contact lenses.
-a woman with brown hair but if she uses her hair red dyed she will say that she has red hair, not red dyed hair.
Fernando Ardenghi
ardenghifer@argentina.com