Fun topic. A successfully married guy I know would anwser “no” to the following question from his wife: “Do I look fat in these jeans?” even if she did look fat.
Online dating is like ordering a pizza from a new restaurant. You just don’t know how it will make you feel until it’s in front of you. For example, A short guy doesn’t get a chance to be an exception to a woman’s “you must be at least 6 feet tall” rule until they’re face to face. Only in person can he make her feel feminine enough to become the exception the rule. He’d probably have to lie to get her in person.
Or he’d have to practice picking up women at bookstores.

My goodness, this discussion never quits, does it?
As Internet dating habits “mature,” it becomes more and more clear why lying is a terrible idea. Just as we are learning about how to do the first in-person check-out (the “coffee date”), why it’s not a good idea to let email communication go on too long before checking out someone in real time and space (too easy for imagination to fill in the blanks), and how to recognize scams (never, never, never give money to someone you essentially don’t know), so too it is becoming glaringly evident why we shouldn’t lie, ever, in online dating profiles and communications.
A person tells about themselves in everything they do and say. Why should you want one of the first things you communicate to a potential mate is that you are a liar and willing to trick a trusting stranger? The rationale that men lie about their height because women specify over 6 feet tall is ridiculous. First, you can’t cheat about height when you meet. And second, a woman is saying something about herself when she is making such a specification: Clearly she is either height prejudiced or unaware that she is cutting out 85% of perfectly good male candidates. (Only 15% of American men are 6 feet tall or more.) Most women cannot afford to eliminate 85% of potentials.
It’s perfectly okay to approach a man or a woman who’s specifications exclude you, as long as you make it clear that you realize that: “I’m not the 6 feet tall that you specifiy, but at 5′ 10″ I still am three inches taller that you. And so many of the things you say about yourself are just what I am looking for that I hope you will check out my profile and think about getting in touch.” And be prepared for them to say “no” based on something so arbitrary as height. Again, that would be about them and not you.
But don’t, don’t, don’t lie! Then the issue is about you: You are a liar. And when your correspondent figures that out, she knows you are a trickster as well. The most common response to being tricked is anger. Charm doesn’t go very far when someone feels tricked.
I’ve written extensively about lying and why not to do it on my Find-a-Sweetheart Blog. You can find entries related to lying by following this link:
http://www.find-a-sweetheart.com/blog/C34/
From Kathryn Lord
Romance Coach
http://www.Find-a-Sweetheart.com

Fun topic. A successfully married guy I know would anwser “no” to the following question from his wife: “Do I look fat in these jeans?” even if she did look fat.
Online dating is like ordering a pizza from a new restaurant. You just don’t know how it will make you feel until it’s in front of you. For example, A short guy doesn’t get a chance to be an exception to a woman’s “you must be at least 6 feet tall” rule until they’re face to face. Only in person can he make her feel feminine enough to become the exception the rule. He’d probably have to lie to get her in person.
Or he’d have to practice picking up women at bookstores.

My goodness, this discussion never quits, does it?
As Internet dating habits “mature,” it becomes more and more clear why lying is a terrible idea. Just as we are learning about how to do the first in-person check-out (the “coffee date”), why it’s not a good idea to let email communication go on too long before checking out someone in real time and space (too easy for imagination to fill in the blanks), and how to recognize scams (never, never, never give money to someone you essentially don’t know), so too it is becoming glaringly evident why we shouldn’t lie, ever, in online dating profiles and communications.
A person tells about themselves in everything they do and say. Why should you want one of the first things you communicate to a potential mate is that you are a liar and willing to trick a trusting stranger? The rationale that men lie about their height because women specify over 6 feet tall is ridiculous. First, you can’t cheat about height when you meet. And second, a woman is saying something about herself when she is making such a specification: Clearly she is either height prejudiced or unaware that she is cutting out 85% of perfectly good male candidates. (Only 15% of American men are 6 feet tall or more.) Most women cannot afford to eliminate 85% of potentials.
It’s perfectly okay to approach a man or a woman who’s specifications exclude you, as long as you make it clear that you realize that: “I’m not the 6 feet tall that you specifiy, but at 5′ 10″ I still am three inches taller that you. And so many of the things you say about yourself are just what I am looking for that I hope you will check out my profile and think about getting in touch.” And be prepared for them to say “no” based on something so arbitrary as height. Again, that would be about them and not you.
But don’t, don’t, don’t lie! Then the issue is about you: You are a liar. And when your correspondent figures that out, she knows you are a trickster as well. The most common response to being tricked is anger. Charm doesn’t go very far when someone feels tricked.
I’ve written extensively about lying and why not to do it on my Find-a-Sweetheart Blog. You can find entries related to lying by following this link:
http://www.find-a-sweetheart.com/blog/C34/
From Kathryn Lord
Romance Coach
http://www.Find-a-Sweetheart.com