PINK NEWS.CO.UK — Mar 6 — The internet is now officially the most popular way for gay men and women to find a date. 87% of gay men and 58% of lesbians have used the internet to find a prospective partner in the past 12 months. Research (1000 responses) carried out by gay-parship.co.uk found that 47% of gay men and 41% of gay women are actively looking for a serious long-term relationship, compared to just 16% and 18% respectively looking for casual flings. Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and relationships expert, stated,"Our research finally dispels flawed stereotypical assumptions that gay men and women are less likely to want to form a serious relationship." FULL ARTICLE @ PINK NEWS
Mark Brooks: Patrick Perrine is an expert on gay matchmaking and is working on a relaunch of his MyPartnerPerfect.com website.
Whilst interesting in its own right, the findings contradict YouGov’s LoveTrack internet dating research earlier this year.
The research highlighted that similar to hetersoexual netdaters, homosexuals may be looking for long-term relationships, but whilst searching for ‘the one’ will also be happy to indulge in short-term, casual relationships.
In fact, when asked which relationship types they were looking for online (just friends, casual/short-term, or long-term/life partner, and respondents could select as many as they wanted) 59% sought a long-term relationship, but 81% looked for casual relationships. Short-term encounters clearly remain the main draw among current gay netdaters.
Furthermore, when asked in more detail about the nature of relationships sought, only 47% sought an emotional aspect, with 38% consciously looking for ‘no-strings encounters’.
What remains unclear however is whether Parship surveyed gay net daters specifically or simply gay men in general. If the latter, perhaps the gay men who are looking for a long-term partner but aren’t currently online will change their minds somewhat if they do log on at some point.
Either way, the gay dating sector appears at first glance to offer lucrative opportunites to sites who have done their research and gained a clear idea as to what they should be offering: the gay men surveyed in the first LoveTrack wave of 2007 are logged onto their chosen website(s) longer each week than hetersosexuals, and more likely to pay to use sites. One third will take out a 12 month subscription to the site they use the most, compared to 21% of heterosexuals – great news for site owners in this sector, IF they have a winning proposition !
Although our existence in the marketplace for almost four years as a
private matchmaking service exclusively working with gay men looking
for long-term relationships suggests support for Parship’s data, our
experience in that same market also suggests support for YouGov’s
statistics.
Let’s look at gay dating from the socio-psychological perspective.
Since birth, gay men and lesbian women have largely witnessed
heterosexual unions, those same types of unions that gay men and women
are fighting for today. Additionally, today, recognized marriages are
ending in record numbers speculated at 2 out of 3 marriages. The
divorce rates suggest that it is either too hard or not worth seeking
a life-partnership, both to heterosexual and homosexual communities.
So we have a dichotomy shift. On one hand gays and lesbians are
seeking similar rights to establish recognizable relationships under
state law regardless of the cultural obstacles and past
objectifications, and the same populations are recognizing that this
long sought after institution is crumbling and that society is valuing
commitment and marriage less and less. An internal debate taking
place amongst a population of people who have been routinely
marginalized due to their sexual preferences and lifestyle.
Whether or not Parship surveyed gay net daters or random gay men in
society, the common thread that would be heard by both subsets of guys
is that there aren’t well established venues to pursue gay
relationships. Most gay men, if not all, are familiar with services
like Gay.com or ManHunt.net that create an environment for seeking
activity partners,casual relationships, or even no-stings
attached encounters. Just as it is with most things in life, you
don’t necessarily yearn for something that you have not been exposed
to. Only recently have media images and cultural representations of
healthy and happy gay relationships become visible; and still the
political environment in which we live continues to tell us that gay
relationships are bad and unhealthy. What is one to think? So is it
that gay netdaters mostly seek short-term encounters or is it that
those are the easiest relationships to find?
To quote the voice in the Field of Dreams in a way that would be
sacrilegious to some, ‘If you build it, he will come.’ There is a
need to provide these services for gay men (and lesbian women) and as
these services become available, men and women will be provided with
the tools to seek and pursue the type of relationships of their
heterosexual counterparts that have previously been exclusively
reserved.
Patrick Perrine