This morning on Today’s Relationships, Recession and Romance, the Dow is below 7,000, more the 12 million people are out of work and about 1 in 8 homeowners are behind in mortgage payments or in foreclosure. Isn’t it romantic?
Apparently it is. It turns out when times get tough people want love.
What does the Dow have to do with dating? When the stocks fall more people look for love online. At Match.com membership grew 17% in December alone. On E-Harmony up a 20% spike since September and at OKCupid.com, a free internet dating site more people are logging on, searching and sending messages.
Sam Yagan, Founder and CEO of OKCupid.com
Starting around September when the economy really started to melt down, we started to see people on OK Cupid starting have different behavior. They started to spend more time on the site and they started to get more serious about their search to find that special someone.
And it’s not just online dating. Other non-traditional methods like speed dating are also on the rise.
Adele Testani, Co-Found and President of Hurry Date
At Hurry Date at our speed dating parties we’ve really seen an uptake in attendance at our events.
In an exercise of dating efficiency in one night, 30 single men met 30 single women and maybe even formed a few love matches.
Hurry Date Client
At least coming here tonight I know I’m going to meet people, whether I make a friend or get a date or whatever, I don’t know. But I have a better shot.
Hurry Date Client
I had a very good time. I think I met a lot of people I think I would be interested in dating.
A possible sign that the lack of money in the pockets doesn’t prevent love in the air.
And here with more on recession and romance, psychotherapist Robbie Ludwig and Jack Otter, Deputy Editor of Best Life Magazine. Good morning to both of you.
Interviewer: All right, so Robbie a survey by the researchers at E-Harmony found that 25% of women and 19% of men were more interested in being in a long term relationship as a result of the current economy. Did I read that right? Or the question is why?
Robi: Yeah I know it’s like hey I’m in debt, do you want to go date? But I think people really care about relationships when they’re a little bit down and also if they have a little bit more time to invest in relationships. They’re under employed or they’re unemployed. They have time to really update their files and say hey what do I want in a partner? Or I want something substantial in my life.
Interviewer: And Jack a lot of people are turning to less traditional methods, online dating, speed dating, does this make financial sense? Do they do it because it’s a little cheaper?
Jack: I don’t think that’s why they do it but certainly it is a lot cheaper and obviously going on line is cheaper than going out to dinner. But there is an interesting facet on the back end as well. I’m told that if you meet somebody through an online situation and its fine but it doesn’t really click, you don’t have t get back in touch with that person. Whereas if you were introduced through your best friend, you feel kind of guilty, well let’s go out to dinner one more time or whatever. But people do it and if it doesn’t work well we’ll just move on.
Interviewer: And it seems to be pretty popular right now.
Jack: Oh absolutely.
Interviewer: So Robbie because of the way the economy is right now, do we have to re-evaluate our expectation when it comes to romance at this point?
Robi: I think people are in touch with what’s really important. So they might want somebody, instead of the big flashy car or where are you taking me to dinner, it’s like who is this person? What is their character like? Are they thoughtful? Can they listen to me? And maybe even the types of dates that people are going on are helping people reveal themselves a little bit more. So we call it a little bit psychologically naked, you can really say hey listen maybe my life is really not in the best place but this is what’s important to me. And people are feeling a little bit more intimate with each other.
Jack: But also you go for a hike instead of going out to dinner and that way it really is a more real thing. And then also its great for anybody who is not rich is suddenly in a better position. It used to be I’m a banker was a great way to get a date.
Interviewer: No, no now that’s like the bad words, you might as well say you’re the devil let’s go out.
Robi: Not for certain people but it’s true, people are really taking their time. They’re going on walks in the park, maybe instead of going out for dinner they’re staying home and cooking and watching movie. So you’re really getting an old fashion chance in a way to get to know somebody.
Interviewer: And I assume Jack that there is also a higher standard for like who is worth spending the time and money on because you are spending the money on them right?
Jack: I think that’s actually similar to the same old dynamic. I had a friend who use to talk about she either had a varsity date or a JV date and the varsity date he got a better outfit and if she was paying they would go to a nice place. And I think it’s the same thing now. As you said people want connection and love and so they just might do it a little cheaper. Maybe its happy hour instead of later at night when the drinks cost more.
Robi: And when your life is not in the right place, you want to turn to somebody who can make you feel better about yourself. And that’s what is really shifting in dating right now.
Interviewer: Okay so to basically recap it’s okay for someone to pull up on their bicycle instead of a big car because we all know that everybody is in economic troubles.
Robi: When you’re in first grade. Sure, no, no I think its fine.
Jack: It’s a bicycle built for two.
Interviewer: Robi Ludwig and Jack Otter thank you both so much for coming here this morning.