THE HARVARD GAZETTE – From the book “How to Feel Loved” by Prof. Sonja Lyubomirsky & Prof. Harry Reis. “Just be yourself.” Many people aren’t being themselves. Instead of showing themselves, they show off themselves. Feeling loved is earned through presenting more of your full self: your values, experiences, quirks, and dreams. Sharing struggles and imperfections builds connection. What truly matters to you? Selectively and progressively reveal parts of yourself to foster genuine connection. Many people believe that in order to feel more loved, they must persuade others to love them more. Years of empirical studies and observation suggest that this approach is ineffective. Feeling loved is much more about you (and your mindset) than about trying to persuade the other person that you are worthy. The more you hide your innermost self, the harder it is to feel truly loved and valued by the significant people in your life. You actually make the best impression when you focus your attention on the other person. How do you increase the chances that the other person will notice and care? The answer is simple – you go first! That means you first need to notice and care – show curiosity.
See full article at The Harvard Gazette
Mark Brooks (Courtland Brooks): I know Barry Rhein and Associates are working on a course to help dating app users become better daters. See “Dating Through Curiosity”. (Full disclosure, Barry was a client of Courtland Brooks)