Category: All Interviews

OPW Interview — Mar 8, 2006 — The online personals market analysis companies that are quoted most often in the press are Comscore, Jupiter, Nielsen and Hitwise.  (I list the top 15 online personals site rankings from Comscore, Nielsen//Netratings and Hitwise on Online Personals Watch each month.  See the left bar.)  Hitwise has grown agressively over the last couple of years in the US.  You’ll see Bill Tancer quoted in the press as GM Research for Hitwise.  Here’s a more in depth interview with him on Hitwise and the online personals market. –Mark Brooks

What’s your background Bill?
I’ve been at Hitwise for two years and I’m the General Manager of the Global Research Group.  Before that I was the Director of Research at Looksmart. Prior to that, I headed up various market research groups at NBC internet, SNAP and Zaplet.  I also was a consultant for the Gartner Group covering the internet space before the dotcom boom.  Before that I was a trial lawyer in the US Navy.  I was always fascinated with technology.  In the Navy I was one of the first lawyers who used MILNET for email.  It was a one day round trip for a message.  The response would come into the communications department where an MP would take the response and put it on floppy disk and drive it to me. It was in 1995, after I moved to California and had finished my Navy commitment that I decided I wanted to work in the internet space.

Tell me more about your role at Hitwise?
I’m the GM of Global Research Group and head a team of analysts in Australia, UK and the U.S.  We have a couple of primary objectives for the research group.  Our first objective is to raise awareness for the company and for the concept of online competitive intelligence.  We do that by developing interesting applications for our data, writing about those applications, talking to the press and through speaking engagements.  We also work with our existing clients to help them find new ways to apply our data to make better, more informed business decisions.   

What are the top three ways Hitwise helps CEO’s make better decisions and make more money?
The first thing is just in understanding what your competitors are doing online.  There’s a ton of tools at any trade show floor that will help you analyze internal data, but not much out there to help you put all of your internal data in perspective.  That’s the #1 thing.  A close second would be our massive database of search terms that drive traffic to specific sites and categories, like the dating category.  With that data we can help our clients intercept their competitors’ traffic and drive it to their own websites.  #3 would be getting a high level overview of your space and the rest of the internet and using our data to make strategic decisions about the direction of your company. 

What do you think of the online dating space?
Online dating is a fascinating space and a great space for us to talk about. There has been an explosion in the number of sites in the dating category. We’re looking at 846 sites in the category.  At the same time we see the visits and market share of visits to the category is flat.  There’s a necessity to become more competitive.  Our data allows our clients to see where competitors are getting their traffic from and what kind of search strategy they have.  Also, the demographics and psychographics of visitors to competitors sites.  All of that together allows you to compete more effectively. 

What’s the state of the online dating market? 
If we take the category as a whole, it’s in the decline.  It’s interesting because I’ve been following the market since January 2004.  We were tracking 611 sites back then.  Now it’s the zenith.  In early to mid 2005 there were 918 sites.  Now, we’re down to 846.  There appears to be a bit of a shake out as well as a decline in market share of visits to the category as a whole.  So let’s take those 846 sites today.  If I take all visits, the online personals market will take 0.847% of all internet visits.  If I go back to the markets zenith in July 2005 it was at 1.2%.  We’re looking at how much the internet dating sector has grown in relation to the entire internet audience, which may also have grown.  If we take the top three dating sites, Yahoo! Personals has increased market share and Match and eHarmony are relatively flat.  The leaders in the space are increasing market share while the other sites shares are declining. The peak was due to the influx of all the niche dating sites.  As the major dating sites refine their search categories it negates the business models of the niche players.  The challenge for smaller players is to provide some kind of value-add in terms of content or user experience.  The other thing that I think we need to factor into dating is the ‘competitive substitute.’ The big one is social networking.  I need to mention Myspace.  This site is geared towards a younger audience and they use it for a number of purposes. Just looking at the rankings, Myspace is the 4th largest site on the internet.  It was getting 2.8% of internet visits.  In terms of market share it’s three times the size of the rest of the internet dating segment in terms of market share of visits. 

Where are the growth areas?
There’s two growth areas.  The younger and the older audience.  Online dating sites have a 25-34 demographic focus.  Myspace is strongly skewed to 18-24 year old visitors and represents a new paradigm in dating. We saw Friendster pick up and decline.  Myspace has picked up where Friendster left off.  This model caters to the younger audience.  All online dating players should be taking note of Myspace.  The 18-24 sector can be a predictor of what will happen for the rest of the online dating space.  Facebook has 0.15% of all internet visits so it’s more than a degree of magnitude smaller.  It’s also growing.  It’s had very steep growth from Nov 2004 to present. 

What are the latest developments with Hitwise?
We just launched a new search capability so our clients are now able to search for search terms by industry category and even by site.  I can tell you what site got what traffic on a particular keyword and dissect a competitive search category.  We’re coming out with a gap analysis tool within our search term intelligence service.  So, I can take another dating site and use this tool to compare search terms ‘gaps’.terms they are getting traffic on that I’m not.  I can compare with a custom category and get an optimized list.  We now cover 162 industry categories and we’re constantly refining and adding more functionality. 

OPW Interview — Feb 8, 2006 — Why are we abandoning users on online personals sites when they want to talk on the phone? They subscribe for email, IM, chat…and then they disappear from your revenue stream when they pick up the phone.  Anonymous calling services connect online personals sites with users, and satisfy their need for a safe anonymous means of communication. Phone Matrix has the most implementations and the slickest service I've seen.  They've been at it longer, had more experience than anyone else, and darn if it isn't available today, not tomorrow … they have an app. available now.

What does Phone Matrix do?
Phone Matrix has one very focused mission – delivering state-of-the-art anonymous phone contact services on personals sites.  It's our only business Mark – and it's what our PrivateCall product sets the standard of excellence for.  The people on our management team have unique backgrounds combining web development, telephony, dating and creative design.  We've pioneered phone introduction services since before the Internet was commercialized and also been long-time customers of the major dating sites. Anyone watching the industry closely over the last couple of years has seen the proof that you don't get the personals phone formula right by asking some engineer or a product manager to "build me a personals phone service please".  It's important to realize that from the moment that a fellow first lands on a site, then gets a gleam in his eye from spotting a great girl, to the time that we get them talking on the phone, involves dozens of very key elements of design, and if any are screwed up, you're going to lose a whole heap of potential business.  The formula for our PrivateCall service was born from our unique experience to maximize member participation and site
revenues.

Why do online dating users need to be connected anonymously?
Before daters arrange to meet face to face, they need to talk on the phone to get to know each other better.  But a lot of them, particularly the women, don't want to take chances with their safety.  After all, giving out your phone number, or having it show up on someone's call-display, can instantly expose your name and address to a total stranger.  So. there often needs to be a whole lot of back-and-forth messaging before a cautious dater will finally get on the phone and move ahead. But then you have a lot of busy guys out there, without propellers on their heads and with testosterone in their veins, who just don't feel they have the time to mess with all the keyboard courtship needed to finally get the ladies on the phone.  The guys just want to get to first base fast, and will do what it takes – and PrivateCall lets them play their field of opportunities much faster by eliminating the perceived telephone safety risk. That risk, by the way, is a lot greater than most folks realize.  Did you know Mark, that anyone can just call forward a regular phone to a toll-free service to see your number – even if you used call block?  Now that's a scary piece of stalker trivia.

Why should online personals companies care?
It's all about increasing market share and revenue. With the average personals customer registered on a couple of sites, there aren't any market gorillas out there that can act as if they have a captive audience.  The audience migrates to where they're being served most effectively.  And PrivateCall can play a key roll in that effective service. And obviously, why not tap into the revenue opportunity of those thousands of "first calls" between members that are happening every day?  When you consider that the install time of our PrivateCall service is measured in days, it's a no-brainer to move forward and quickly pick up on that revenue opportunity.

What kind of revenue increments should online personals companies expect from adding such services?
The amount of direct new revenue from PrivateCall is going to depend on the culture, demographics, size, and business model of each site.  As a rough rule of thumb, for most personals sites with reach ranks in the top twenty, you can figure that, on average, each premium male that's active in a week will generate roughly a dollar of net revenue for the site that week.  And since Phone Matrix's share of revenue typically covers all aspects of service delivery, including customer support and billing inquiries, payment processing, and chargeback responsibility, that dollar pretty much goes straight to the bottom line.

Do you have any new products in the pipeline?
Sure do!  Our product plan is mapped out to the 4th quarter.  But there are things that we all need to keep under our hats, and I'm sorry to say that you'll just have to have to wait for each launch Mark.

OPW INTERVIEW — Nov 3, 2005 — One name stands preeminent in the world of relationship experts and authors.  Dr John Gray has authored fourteen books and is a world renowned speaker on the subject of relationships and understanding the marked differences between the sexes.  Here is the first of two exclusive OPW interviews with Dr Gray – Mark Brooks

What inspired the planet analogy to describe women and men?
As a marriage councilor I found it effective to understand the differences between the sexes in a playful way.  I found, 25 yrs ago, one of the biggest problems couples had was in misinterpreting what they were saying and how they were reacting to situations differently.  So by teaching people to understand their differences they could then work together rather against each other.  I developed the Mars Venus metaphor to make it more playful and easy to apply. 

How is internet dating different from off-line dating?
Online dating is the opposite of offline.  Online dating first explores mental and emotional compatibility.  When people finally meet in person they then discover if physical chemistry exists.  In offline dating, they discover the physical attraction/chemistry and then take time to discover mental and emotional chemistry.  For relationships to be lasting you need all three. The fourth level is soul compatibility, which is the feeling you want to share a life with this person…for marriage.  In terms of meeting a person when offline and meeting a person online, when online you don't get the opportunity to experience physical chemistry.  Gender differences are present here also because men feel physical chemistry right away whereas women may feel it immediately or it may develop over time.  Because men tend to feel it right away,  if it's not happening they will move on.  With good communication skills men can increase women’s physical chemistry and attraction towards them.  Women can sustain the attraction a man feels towards them in the beginning with good communication skills and nurturing habits.

In designing the ultimate online dating site, what factors would you focus on for making good matches?
A benefit of online dating is that users sometimes have a greater chance of a long term relationship because they have first explored the mental and emotional compatibility before the physical. Offline couples often rush too quickly into physical connection and don't give enough of a chance to discover mental and emotional compatibility.  Quite typically for men, after a quick sexual encounter, they temporarily lose interest during which time they can become interested in another woman.  With online dating there's already a mental and emotional bond so this tendency to lose interest will lessen.  The flip side of that is that if a woman has established a mental and emotional interest in a man before physical intimacy there tends to be less “neediness” because they are more secure in the relationship not being just physical.  Often, after a sudden physical encounter the woman, without knowing the man mentally and emotionally, will feel more emotionally needy which can push the man away. 

In an ideal world offline couples would take a little longer before they have sex.  Online dating provides that time of introduction in getting to know each other before the first physical encounter.  The chances of a long term relationship are greater from online dating, but the chances of rejection at the first meeting, when people physically meet each other are also greater with online dating.  A common experience of online daters is they meet online and mentally and emotionally they connect but within a moment of physical meeting they can sense there's no physical chemistry, and that can be very disappointing and hurtful to someone.  This possibility of rejection can be cushioned by making sure that before they meet physically they've shared accurate photos of each other.  This is important because if they experience rejection after meeting in person they don't make the conclusion they're being rejected because of looks, rather that there's just not enough physical chemistry.  There's no way to accurately predict if chemistry will be there.  They may think they feel it but once they meet in person, then that's the test. 

Webdate.com allows users to have their first date online using webcams, hence the name webdate  Does that help?
I think that would be helpful along the way but users still won't truly know until they are in each other's physical presence.  90% of communication is from visual cues with a real in-person meeting.  You can have emotional chemistry with someone on the phone or internet.  You can have mental stimulation but physical chemistry…you have to be there in person.  But web cameras can be a good thing.  They can see each other online and then when they meet they won’t take it personally if there's no physical chemistry, in respect to 'I'm not good enough.' 

Can personality tests really predict romantic attraction?  How?
Nothing can predict physical chemistry.  What they can do is sometimes assist people in finding someone they have greater emotional and mental compatibility with.  The most beneficial aspect is simply in having the opportunity to explore who you are and who they are.  Just like having a conversation with someone.  If done correctly compatibility testing can also assist people in making wise choices regarding their willingness to get involved, based on preferences and past experiences.  For example, if they've been in a relationship in the past where the partner was dominant or controlling, compatibility testing can tell if this new person might be like the people in their past.  I think after one does a compatibility test then it's very helpful to get assistance from a relationship coach to interpret findings, to help learn from past experiences and based on that, what they want in new relationships.

These tests can be done on one's own but are better with a relationship coach who can provide guidance on how to overcome challenges.  All relationships have built in challenges. For a couple to have attraction, they have to have differences.  Differences create attraction and mean the possibility of problems and challenges.  So, if you find someone 'just like me' you probably won't have physical attraction.  Often people have a hard time finding a lasting relationship because they don't have the relationship skills they need, as opposed to having found the right person.  The easy answer is, ‘I found the wrong person.’ Or, “the wrong dating service”  It's often the only answer they can come up with if they don't have the training and relationship skills.  We have the ability to bring out the best or worst in our partners. 

As a PhD and Certified Family Therapist, how do you feel compatability testing should be used on online dating sites? 
As mentioned before, compatibility tests are at best introductions.  They're more about self exploration.  To take a test you have to explore who you are and define what you want in a relationship.  For someone to say you are or are not compatible is not possible, particularly in the case of physical chemistry.  People should look at testing as a tool to assist them in the education process regarding having a good relationship.  Compatibility tests, in a very simple way, can hone in your focus and bring you into a smaller group of people compatible to your basic beliefs and needs.  They help lessen the field of people to focus in on.  But, they can't determine physical chemistry.  You simply have to go through the process of meeting people.  But instead of going through a thousand people, you only need to go through perhaps 25 people.   

Unfortunately the most accurate personality tests can take an entire afternoon to complete. The average user does not have that kind of commitment to the process. So the challenge for the industry is to create something accurate but still engaging enough for the consumer. Also the average user may not know how to best use a personality test to determine who they are most compatible with. The most admired personality traits may not mix well with your personality. The key is to provide the proper guidance to help the user know what’s best for them.

What are your plans for working with the online personals industry?
I’m very excited to work with the online personals industry.  I think it’s an industry that tackles a very humanistic challenge. What has been missing is that people have an inherent need to talk about their experiences. Rejection is ten times more painful when you have to face it alone. Also fear is one of the primary feelings that keeps us from trying. Fear of the unknown, fear of judgment, fear of failure and very often fear of success…’am I ready?’

We provide a program of phone-based relationship coaching where people can explore these feelings, as well as help them determine compatibility with a person and improve their relationship skills.  This is what I see missing from all the services; ongoing coaching to provide people with the understanding they need to make a relationship work.  People tend to go on a few dates and leap from one online dating service to another, just as they go from one partner to another.  They need to realize that their relationship skills in fact need improving. 

There are so many ways that men and women unknowingly send the wrong signals to the opposite sex.  They are not aware of how the words they use or their behaviors may be a complete turn off, which is why coaching has been so effective for people.  Lack of knowledge causes a big rift between the sexes.  Once people understand the differences it's so much easier to pull the best from our partners and relationships.  At  Ask MarsVenus.com we provide coaching and hope to daters on an ongoing basis through the different stages of dating.

Relationship coaches can help explain why dates don't turn out well, and help people understand what's going on and how to get better results. This way they don’t blame themselves or their dating site and give up all together.   For example, men need to understand that it's normal to feel attracted and then less attracted to someone, ”Rubberbanding” is a normal part of the attraction process. If they are patient the attraction can come back stronger than ever. Women need to understand that they should allow a certain amount of space while not abandoning their own needs.  In the old days matchmakers not only provided matchmaking services but also coached people through every date and helped them understand what happened.  They gave them instructions so they could form better bonds.  We help build the hope and skills to keep them dating.